Mom Wishes She’d Killed Her Son With Down Syndrome…”I Wish it Every Day”

Photo Credit: David CrumpThis Week’s Sign the Apocalypse is Upon Us

Ah, the things you do for love. From buying expensive gifts, to changing our looks, to devoting every waking moment and thought to your loved one, you craft your world around your precious; you can’t help but plainly show who and what you love.

For example, love has made a woman in London publicly wish that she’d killed her son with Down Syndrome. Well, she’s calling it love.

Gillian Relf gave a disturbingly candid interview to the Daily Mail, and she says she wishes “every day” that she had aborted her son, Stephen.

As Life News reports:

Mrs. Relf, 69, regrets having her son, Stephen, who is 47, because he has Down syndrome and requires constant and daily care. She worries about what will happen to her son when she dies.

Relf starts with an embarrassing anecdote about how her son refused to sit in his seat on an airplane for a family trip to Greece.

The pilot had been very patient but, after an hour of the plane waiting on the Tarmac at Heathrow, with my son Stephen refusing to get up off the floor, sit in his seat and buckle up, our bags were removed from the hold and he was carried off the flight, my husband Roy and I walking, hot-cheeked and humiliated, behind.

Our family holiday to Greece would not be going ahead, after all.

That certainly sounds frustrating…and grounds for homicide, of course. The classic “anyone who spoils my vacation in Greece should be executed” defense.

Relf’s example is meant to typify the challenges she faces as she cares for her son’s special needs, a struggle that any parent could sympathize with. Most parents however, might wish for an end to the challenges, not the end of their child…which to Mrs. Relf seem one and the same.

“So difficult has it been that I can honestly say I wish he hadn’t been born.

I know this will shock many: this is my son, whom I’ve loved, nurtured and defended for nearly half a century, but if I could go back in time, I would abort him in an instant.”

Got to admit, not many moms “love,” “nurture,” and “protect” their child by wishing they’d killed him. Must be the newest evolution in the species.

After all, this life isn’t what Relf wanted. She dreamed of a perfect baby, perfect family, perfect life. And Stephen doesn’t fit what she wanted. So apparently, he’s got to go.

In her article, she blames doctors for not giving her an amniocentisis. You know, so she could have diagnosed her son’s Down Sydrome…and then executed him for it.

Stephen came into the world one Sunday in January 1967 at the Kent & Canterbury Hospital.The following Wednesday, I looked at him in his cot: his small, almond-shaped eyes, broad, flat nose and the one crease on the palms of his hands.

‘He’s a mongol, isn’t he?’ I gasped to my mother. It sounds shocking now but that was how we used to describe people with Down’s Syndrome in those days.

And lest you think this was just her initial emotional reaction, and that upon reflection, she might think her son’s life is actually more valuable than her preferences, Mrs. Relf reiterates again in the article, that she wishes she’d had killed Stephen.

Perhaps you’d expect me to say that, over time, I grew to accept my son’s disability. That now, looking back on that day 47 years later, none of us could imagine life without him, and that I’m grateful I was never given the option to abort.

However, you’d be wrong. Because, while I do love my son, and am fiercely protective of him, I know our lives would have been happier and far less complicated if he had never been born. I do wish I’d had an abortion. I wish it every day.

If he had not been born, I’d have probably gone on to have another baby, we would have had a normal family life and Andrew would have the comfort, rather than the responsibility, of a sibling, after we’re gone.

A normal life. Truly, the highest virtue to which one can aspire.

Honor, compassion, courage, self-sacrifice…they all pale in comparison to the nobility of “normalcy” (as defined by the latest of mirage of our mercurial hearts). Who are we to stand in the way of such a lofty goal? Who is her son?

In fact, why can she not take his life now? If one grants Mrs. Relf’s position as an ethical one, there’s no reason she should not kill her adult son today…in a 188th trimester abortion. It’s not like, after 47 years of joy, pain, growth, struggle, and humanity, that Stephen is really a person. Not really. He’s a burden. And his mom wants him gone. It’s all the same love.

And love makes us do crazy things.

Well, love…crippling narcissism…murderous egomania…they’re all basically the same.

_________________________________________________________________

REBEKAH MAXWELL

Rebekah Maxwell grew up from stage to stage in a Midwestern gypsy band, singing and playing music with her family. She was homeschooled from backstage to the front pew, a system that suited her independent, slightly contrary, nature. She completed her high school work at age 16, and then promptly got a job as announcer at a local radio station, opting for a career that combined music, microphones and live performance with a steady paycheck. She began reporting and producing at WHO Radio in 2007, with on-air work recognized by the official alphabet soup: the AP, IBNA, NBNA, RTDNA, NAB (all the while staying far from the TSA and UFOs). While she attended Drake University to learn the ropes of legitimate broadcast journalism, she’s also been quoted as saying that her experience with the Deace Show has been at least as educational as college (and at a lower interest rate). She delights in debating religion, politics, and all other subjects impolite at the dinner table. Her favorite time of year is Caucus season, and she’s an accomplished slam poet, ready to spit the truth…in mad rhymes, if necessary.

Posted in-full with permission from the originating site. Read more from Steve Deace HERE.

  • obamasux

    This lady better hope someone with her values is not roaming the nursing home halls when she’s a decrepit patient there.

  • Concerned

    I’m trying to grasp this and I can’t! Life is not perfect and neither are people. If it was so hard, why did she not put him in a home where people with compassion could love and care for him. She could live a “normal” life and visit him without guilt. Her words are going to haunt her!

    • Penny

      Yes! I feel so sorry for him. Others might have cared for and loved him. Also, just because he has a mental deficit doesn’t mean he isn’t able to behave himself at all. I work with people like this everyday and they can fulfill responsibility and even work. If he was throwing himself down in the plane, I am sure it was no surprise to the parents. Did they ask him if he wanted to go on a plane? Maybe he was afraid. How come the captain had to take charge while they watched? What the heck is going on with that family? What did they think was going to happen? Do they even know their son?

  • John B. Robbins

    While it is a shame she feels that way, it is understandable, and the authors attempts at sarcasm are not well done. It’s always easy to criticize someone else’s handling of a situation when you don’t have to deal with it yourself. You can’t blame someone for wishing they had a life. Raising a handicapped child is a totally different experience for a wealthy person that can afford to hire help as opposed to a poor/less than wealthy person having to be everything on their own. Maybe this isn’t your best subject matter to cover Ms Maxwell.

  • Kerri Feldman

    I don’t think we are one to judge. I personally disagree with her but I can’t imagine a life of caring for a disabled person. It is easy for those who do not have this situation to judge another as we sit on the outside peering in with our judgments. I know more than one person who will have to sacrifice their entire life for a child who is disabled and then they will sacrifice the life of the siblings if there are any who hang around to take over when the parents are gone. I guess you have never seen a retarded child removed by the state when his only living relative dies. That poor retarded person may now be 60 and heading off to spend the rest of his life institutionalized. I am sure they may be some sympathetic state workers but guaranteed overwhelmed. I don’t have the answers but we are not the ones to judge.

    • angryguy77

      If his life holds no value, then why not off him now?

      • Kerri Feldman

        Why don’t you adopt him? For all the anti abortion people. Line up and adopt. Unless you are willing to do that, keep your opinions to yourself.

  • toria555

    I cannot imagine being in her shoes, therefore I will not judge. I wonder if there is somewhere or someone she can leave him with for a day or 2 a week to get a break and some time for herself.

    • penny

      She doesn’t need sympathy. She has enough for herself. She is talking about killing someone so she can be happy and not privately, but publicly. She is not a good person. Save the sympathy for the lady down the street who really could use some help with her disabled or dying loved one and is a loving, giving person.

      • toria555

        I’m guessing you’ve never had to take care of someone 24 hours a day for decades. Neither have I. Therefore, I don’t have the right to judge the way she feels and neither do you. Have a nice life.

  • 1_Eddie_1

    What a cold hearted woman. She always had the option of putting her son up for adoption. Some couple that either couldn’t conceive a child, or a couple that has the compassion for special needs children would’ve loved to have adopted her son. Yes, you could’ve had a normal life without aborting your child.

  • disqus_6npiJ7fVP4

    Come to the USA. If dumb-0-craps get their way, post-birth abortion will be coming soon…

    • Me

      Nice! Resort to childish name calling! Maybe you could be the poster child for pro-abortion with your less than mature way of responding. Get an intelligent thought in your head before doing anything else in this world.

      • disqus_6npiJ7fVP4

        You have just proven my point that dumb-0-craps (like yourself) are more concerned with ending life than debating the issue (abortion). You say I’m a name caller then call me ‘childish’ while presenting NOTHING that rebuts my statement. Then again, maybe you support post-birth abortion. Perhaps you should try it. ON YOURSELF…

        • Kerri Feldman

          Abortion is not a government issue. It should NOT be one. It is a personal decision made by a woman involving her own body. Like I said. Line up and adopt these unwanted, mentally retarded, drug addicted babies. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I do. I know a woman who wanted a baby more than anything. She adopted a beautiful little girl. Guess what? This little girl is now 21. She is SEVERELY RETARDED. She can do NOTHING in life. Her mother has nobody who will take care of her when she is gone. There are waiting lists for places for these children to go when they are adults. Right now she is on a list for somewhere to go during the day. Everyday, unless she is drugged out of her mind she screams like she is being axe murdered. Of course her mother loves her but her life was over the day she adopted this very brain damaged girl. You people with your big mouths. You think you can demand people to keep children they don’t want, while you sit by in judgment. What nerve. GO ADOPT A BUNCH. PS- I am not a democrat.

          • disqus_6npiJ7fVP4

            i an a conservative. i also believe that the decision to, or not to, abort should belong with the woman AND the man who created the child. My point is, and you obviously missed it, let the people debate the subject and NOT THE COURTS. Put it to a vote. As far as taking care of a tard (you used the term first) sometimes you have to just let go.

          • Kerri Feldman

            Sorry for using the term retarded. The PC came along one day when I wasn’t aware and decided that term was degrading. I wanted to differentiate. She is severely brain damaged. Do you think that sounds better? I agree lets take a vote. People who love their children choose to not let go once they are in their care. Maybe I am taking that comment wrong too.

          • Kerri Feldman

            I would hope I said retarded. I know that is not a PC term these days so please forgive me for using that expression. I agree with you. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

        • Kerri Feldman

          Abortion is not a government issue. It should NOT be one. It is a personal decision made by a woman involving her own body. Like I said. Line up and adopt these unwanted, mentally retarded, drug addicted babies. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I do. I know a woman who wanted a baby more than anything. She adopted a beautiful little girl. Guess what? This little girl is now 21. She is SEVERELY RETARDED. She can do NOTHING in life. Her mother has nobody who will take care of her when she is gone. There are waiting lists for places for these children to go when they are adults. Right now she is on a list for somewhere to go during the day. Everyday, unless she is drugged out of her mind she screams like she is being axe murdered. Of course her mother loves her but her life was over the day she adopted this very brain damaged girl. You people with your big mouths. You think you can demand people to keep children they don’t want, while you sit by in judgment. What nerve. GO ADOPT A BUNCH. PS- I am not a democrat.

  • Penny

    I can’t believe some. of the supportive comments she is receiving. Lots of us had hard lives and we didn’t kill anybody! Like the author said, why stop with abortion? She honestly hates her son. She can call it whatever. We are not owed a “good” “normal” life. We can be happy in general by doing what is right and dealing with feelings so we don’t become bitter about our misfortunes. For those who sympathize, would it be okay for an ex-daughter-in-law to take-out your son because he is a jerk who ruined her life/chance at normalcy or to wish you had aborted him?!!!! Life is stinkin hard and people hurt us and get in our way, but that is for us to sort through and recover from. We should not be wishing others dead!!!! This is one crazy society. Life is already short enough, so let’s not be deciding if others should have the right to live it. Should be obvious, but not today obviously

    • penny

      By the way, we are not talking about a woman struggling with bad feelings and talking privately to a friend. We are talking about someone who went public with her bitterness toward her innocent son and her motives? What are they? To condone ending the lives of disabled babies? She was taking a public stand and dehumanizing thousands of people at the same time. Those are facts.

      • Kerri Feldman

        Wait until two generations from now and the 1 in 8 born autistic grow up. Do you think they will have jobs? Family to care for them? I fear for that generation when the government has to care for more disabled than “normal” people. Funny how people have such an opinion who know nothing of caring for a truly disabled baby, child, teen, adult. It is a life sentence. Call it what you will. Maybe somebody is being punished for something. Is everybody who believes in “God” “God”? I don’t think so. Let God do the judging. Not your job.

  • Linda

    Is this woman selfish ? I think so.