If you’ve been around politics for at least five minutes or more, you learn there are certain unwritten rules that conservatives are just supposed to accept to our own detriment. And if you stick around another five minutes longer, you learn those unwritten rules are never to be applied the other way to our favor.
Last week there was a shocking sight in Washington. Something not seen since the days when everybody smoked like John Boehner. In fact, we here at Conservative Review didn’t believe it ourselves at first, but we can now confirm that just happened.
A moderate-to-liberal Republican evolved to the Right.
That’s right my fellow randomly evolved via natural process alone primates. If there really was such a thing as Hell it would’ve instantly frozen over at the visual alone of Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C. (F, 30%) standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas (A, 97%) — whom he once joked about killing on the floor of the Senate — arguing for the defunding of the United Nations, otherwise known as the progressives’ Taj Mahal.
And it even happened on MSNBC, no less.
“Jesus, take the wheel.”
“Rapture me now.”
“This is the big one. I’m comin’ for you.”
“Goodbye cruel world!”
Whichever parting words you prefer are now appropriate. For there was Graham, the sort of Republican who would typically offer to give the UN even more of our money than the Democrats ask for just to show he’s not one of us, being one of us. Of course, this leads to instant and suspicious speculation, and you really can’t blame conservatives for it. Lucy has pulled the football away from us so often we don’t even try to kick it anymore. We just embarrassingly fall down on our own when it’s offered just to get the disappointment over with.
“What did Cruz sell us out on in return?”
“Let me guess, this doesn’t really defund anything and that’s why Lindsey Grahamnesty supported it, right”
“Maybe defunding the UN isn’t a good idea at all if John McCain’s, R-Ariz. (F, 32%) lap poodle is for it?”
Far be it for Mr. Total Depravity here to be a beacon of hope, but perhaps we should just shut up listen to nana when she taught us “never look a gift horse in the mouth.” I know it seems unlikely, but perhaps Graham simply saw how overtly anti-Israel the UN’s latest actions are and decided to act on his courage of conviction?
Stop laughing. No, really, I wasn’t trying to be funny. That might’ve happened. I mean, it’s not like we just elected a reality TV star, who violated every unwritten rule of decorum and protocol, to the presidency or something.
So maybe it is a brand new day? Or maybe a leopard really never changes his spots? Or maybe we should just be adults and practice that whole discernment thing we tend to cast aside for pack-like, binary-choice thinking. Remember that adults draw distinctions, because the world — as well as the people in it — are more complicated than simple either-or at all times scenarios.
Sometimes people are right for the wrong reasons, and sometimes they’re wrong for the right ones. Sometimes the people you disagree with on everything else are right about this one thing, and sometimes the people you do agree with on everything else are wrong about this one.
In fact, I’ve found myself agreeing with Graham more in the past month than I have the past decade. Why? Because I think he’s been right, that’s why. That doesn’t mean we’re right about what we agree on, by the way, but it does mean as an adult I have a choice to make. Do I believe the truth is the truth, regardless of the one wielding it? Or do I believe truth is determined by the one wielding it? In other words, is truth its own transcendent thing to be sought and found, or do we make our own truth or determine what the truth is?
One view of truth makes you a conservative, and the other doesn’t. Can you guess which is which?
So, yes, typically Graham has not been my kind of Republican. And back when I still was a Republican it’s unlikely I was his type, too. A child considers that knowledge and doesn’t accept Graham’s help when it’s offered, but instead criticizes its own ally like Cruz for accepting it. An adult takes help whenever it’s offered, even from unconventional sources, provided it doesn’t require compromising your own integrity in return and is grateful for it.
And I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention lately, but America is suffering from a dearth of adults at the moment.
“When I was a child I thought, spoke, and reasoned as a child. When I became an adult I set aside such childish things.” – St. Paul
(For more from the author of “History Was Just Made in the Senate — and Hell Hath Frozen Over” please click HERE)