Are Gays and Lesbians Throwing One of Their Own Under the Bus?

Gay and lesbian websites have jumped all over recent research supposedly showing that Dan Savage’s immensely popular “It Gets Better” anti-gay bullying campaign — strongly endorsed by everyone from Hollywood celebrities to then-President Obama and Vice President Biden — does more harm than good.

Two things stand out about this. First, gays, lesbians, and their allies have a history of battling science that doesn’t support their agenda. Their usual claim is that the research is “flawed.” (George Yancey wrote on this recently for The Stream.) For some reason they didn’t do that this time. Instead they’re practically throwing Savage under the bus.

Second, this research — unlike many other studies that gay activists have objected to — really is hopelessly flawed. Or at least there’s nothing in it to support the conclusion that “It Gets Better” is bad for young gays and lesbians.

Now, I’m no fan of Dan Savage. You’ll see why in a moment. But I find it odd that these gays and lesbians seem so willing to steamroll him. I can’t help wondering whether it’s because they know he’s wrong, and he’s embarrassing them besides.

The story has many twists. I’ll start with Dan Savage himself.

Dan Savage, The Anti-Bullying Bully Who Wants to Say “It Gets Better”

Savage is a gay sex columnist and (in his own words) “potty-mouthed political pundit” who founded “It Gets Better” to reduce anti-gay bullying. He’s a bully himself (potty mouth warning ), so it’s clear he’s okay with that sort of behavior, just as long as it isn’t directed against his people. The hypocrisy is absolutely staggering.

He launched “It Gets Better” in 2010 with one video he co-produced along with his “partner” Terry Miller. It grew into a website featuring thousands of like-minded videos. President Obama, Michelle Obama and Vice President Biden all contributed videos to the project, along with many celebrities.

Savage summarized “It Gets Better” in a 2011 interview with NPR: “A bullied gay teenager who ends his life is saying that he can’t picture a future with enough joy in it to compensate for the pain he’s in now.” That’s true enough, and well worth working on. There’s no need to say “gay” in there, though. It’s the same for any bullied teen.

He added,

Things didn’t just get better for me. All of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender adults I knew were leading rich and rewarding lives. … People pursue happiness in different ways — but we all had so much to be thankful for, and so much to look forward to. Our lives weren’t perfect; there was pain, heartbreak and struggle. But our lives were better. Our lives were joyful.

That’s doubtful. It might even be dreaming on his part. I don’t know all the people Dan Savage knows, but I do know that solid research reported last fall in The New Atlantis shows that LGBT people are, on average, more emotionally troubled than the rest of the population. Their distress can’t be explained just by their being an “embattled minority” or any such thing. There’s something inherently distressing about homosexuality. From a biblical and natural law perspective, that something is easy to identify: homosexuality runs contrary to the way God designed us.

Gay Media and the University of Arizona Research

So young LGBT people have a lot to cope with. Of course that includes bullying. Their coping mechanisms were the subject of the research in question here. Gay media jumped all over its purported finding on “It Gets Better.”

Queerty said, “But new research finds the project [“It Gets Better”] might actually be doing more harm than good.” (Link not included because of objectionable content on the page.) The Washington Blade’s headline read, “‘It Gets Better’ may be harmful: study.” NewNowNext came right out and called it “bad advice.”

What the Study Really Shows

But that’s not what the study says. It didn’t examine “It Gets Better” at all. It did look into the effects of “imagining a better future,” which is only distantly related to the whole “It Gets Better” idea. “Imagining a better future” was just one item on a questionnaire, lumped together with three others: “Spending more time by yourself to figure things out,” “Just trying to put it all out of your mind” and “Avoiding other people.”

Because it was combined with these other items, all of which have something to do with pulling away, withdrawing or escaping, “Imagining a better future” in this case had very little to do with the active hope promoted by the “It Gets Better” project. Most survey respondents probably thought of it in terms of daydreaming: imagining that they would somehow magically turn straight, for example, or imagining the U.S. had a gay president.

That sort of impossible imagining doesn’t help people who are hurting — which is no news, by the way: social scientists have known it for decades. It’s not, however, what “It Gets Better” promotes.

Granted, the study’s lead researcher, Russell Toomey of the University of Arizona, told NewNowNext, “Our findings question the ’It Gets Better’ narrative that’s been given to LGB youth.” Scientists speak that way all the time, and what they generally mean by it is that here’s something unknown there, a question that calls for further study. Nothing more: there are no conclusions to be drawn, just a question. The study was a small one, by the way, and limited to the San Francisco Bay area. The report’s authors noted that it wasn’t strong enough to draw sweeping new conclusions.

It’s a long leap from “questioning the narrative” to the conclusion, “it’s bad advice,” but that’s where these gay websites took it.

Do They Know It Doesn’t Get That Much Better?

Thus we have one of gay activism’s most heavily promoted projects coming under some slight question; it doesn’t even amount to criticism. Gay websites haven’t denounced it as they usually do. They’re promoting it instead. Why?

Two possible explanations come to mind. I can’t prove either one is true, so I have to frame them as questions.

First, have they decided Dan Savage has been wrong all along? Have they realized it really doesn’t get that much better? Bullying may decrease as gays and lesbians get older, with the world celebrating homosexuality more and more these days. But bullying isn’t their only problem. Homosexuality really is strongly associated with depression and other emotional stresses, not all of which can be blamed on other people’s anti-gay attitudes. So I wonder whether they’re losing hope, as they find they’re still not experiencing the “rich” and “joyful” life Savage promised them.

Maybe They’re Embarrassed

And then there’s Dan Savage’s potty mouth and his non-stop bullying. Have they perhaps noticed his extreme profanity and his blatant hypocrisy, along with his failed promises of life getting better? Are they embarrassed by Dan Savage? They certainly should be.

Throw him under the bus? I don’t know, but this might be the excuse some of them have been waiting for. (For more from the author of “Are Gays and Lesbians Throwing One of Their Own Under the Bus?” please click HERE)

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