Satire: Obama calls Canadian Prime Minister Harper a “large lump”

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Diplomatic tensions rose today after a Fox News camera caught President Barack Obama talking to one of his press aides and making some very undiplomatic comments about Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper after the two met briefly at a Washington international benefit event.

As Obama and Media Relations Director Clive Leonard walked away from reporters, the Fox newsfeed clearly picked up the conversation.

LEONARD: “The Prime Minister is requesting a 15-minute meeting Mr. President.”
OBAMA: “What’s with that guy?”
LEONARD: “Sir?” (coughs)
OBAMA: “He’s shifty…he’s never standing where his voice seems to be coming from.”
LEONARD: “Ummm…”
OBAMA: “And he’s a large lump isn’t he? All pudge and hair.”

The comments were aired after a one-second tape delay before Fox News began repeating them in their entirety with added commentary. White House officials immediately asked Fox to stop airing the embarrassing comments but the network’s leading political commentator Bill O’Reilly responded to the request live on air with “Yeah right!”

Other news outlets quickly began running the footage with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer (not his real name) stating that the President’s harsh words were “school-yard” and could damage relations between the two countries at a time when cross-border issues such as the Keystone Pipeline are already causing friction. However, Wolf could be seen snickering when Obama was shown saying Harper is all pudge and hair.

Read more from this satirical story HERE.

Thief Who Stole Packages From Neighbor’s Doorsteps Turns Out To Be Eight-Year-Old Girl

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CLERMONT — If you’re expecting packages shipped to your home this time of year, you may be worried about thieves grabbing them from your doorstep before you get home.

A number of missing packages in one Lake County neighborhood prompted neighbors to set up a sting, and now, police said they believe they’ve cracked the case.

Jessica Araujo runs a business from her Clermont home, where she regularly receives shipments. Over the last few months, she thought several packages worth more than $1,800 never arrived, but she said she didn’t suspect they were stolen.

That is, until last week, when her neighbors on Briar Run Drive reported they also had packages of gifts stolen from their front doorstep.

According to police reports, the packages included Barbie dolls, children’s makeup and children’s cell phones.

Read more from this story HERE.

Chicago Transit Authority Passenger Attacked With Sock Filled With Human Feces

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A woman riding the Chicago Transit Authority’s Blue Line in Oak Park told police she was last week attacked by another passenger wielding a sock filled with human feces.

“He had a sock full of his poop on me,” the 21-year-old college student told the Pioneer Press. “It was everywhere; on my face, my hair, my clothes.”

The victim, requesting anonymity, said she screamed and tried to follow her attacker, but he escaped up the Austin Boulevard exit and ran northbound on Austin.

The college student, who came to Oak Park six weeks ago to live with a family and provide in-home child care, said she was riding an east-bound train from Oak Park to Chicago when she was attacked.

“The guy got on with me at [the] Oak Park [station],” she said. “I wasn’t really paying attention. … “Next stop [at Austin], he throws something in my face.”

Read more from this story HERE.

Video: Unbelievable Footage of Eagle Snatching Baby (It’s a Fake)

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UPDATE FROM THE DAILY CALLER: IT’S A FAKE

A design school in Montreal has taken credit for the video, explaining that the amazing clip was created using 3D animation techniques:

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ORIGINAL STORY:

Next time you’re up North visiting America’s chilly hat — that’s Canada — don’t let small children out of your sight. That’s the takeaway lesson from a video that spread quickly Tuesday afternoon.

The 60-second clip shows a golden eagle swooping out of the sky and grabbing a small boy from a Montreal park, and trying to fly away with his prize.

Luckily for the boy — and for his dad, who was so busy filming birds of prey that he forgot to keep an eye on him — the eagle wasn’t prepared to carry away a 20-pound child. The animal dropped him from a height of three or four feet before zooming off to find a smaller snack.

Read more from this story HERE.

PETA Urges Honey Boo Boo To Rename Pet Chicken ‘Nugget’ to More Animal-Friendly Name

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In our time watching Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, we’ve learned a few things: Honey Boo Boo’s family fiercely embraces its redneck ways. A dollar makes Honey Boo Boo holler. And finally, the pageant princess LOVES eating meat. But PETA apparently hasn’t figured this out yet, as the organization recently sent Honey Boo Boo a letter asking her to give her pet chicken a more animal-friendly name. Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.

Honey Boo Boo loves Nugget, her pet chicken, but she’ll love Nugget even more deep-fried and ready for consumption. PETA’s leaders either have not watched Here Comes Honey Boo Boo or don’t understand what a carnivore its star is, because they decided to send the little pageant queen a request for better animal treatment, or more specifically, not naming her pet after the means by which it will ultimately be consumed.

So, since PETA doesn’t find Nugget a suitable name for a chicken, what could work better? How about “I Am Not A Nugget?” Nice try, PETA, but you might as well quit now. In addition to being incredibly clumsy to pronounce, this name would be a bit misleading. It’s pretty obvious that Nugget ultimately will become a plate full of nuggets.

Read more from this story HERE.

Video: Doctors Stunned as Brain-Computer Interface Allows Quadriplegic Woman to Feed Herself

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A woman who is paralysed from the neck down has stunned doctors with her extraordinary skill at using a robotic arm that is controlled by her thoughts alone.

The 52-year-old patient, called Jan, lost the use of her limbs more than 10 years ago to a degenerative disease that damaged her spinal cord. The disruption to her nervous system was the equivalent to having a broken neck.

But in training sessions at the University of Pittsburgh, doctors found she quickly learned to make fluid movements with the brain-controlled robotic arm, reaching levels of performance never seen before.

Doctors recruited the woman to test a robotic arm that is controlled by a new kind of computer program that translates the natural brain activity used to move our limbs into commands to move the robotic arm.

The design is intended to make the robotic arm more intuitive for patients to use. Instead of having to think where to move the arm, a patient can simply focus on the goal, such as “pick up the ball”. Read more from this story HERE.

Video: Stray Dogs Being Taught to Drive in New Zealand

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In a world already full of road hogs this is perhaps the last thing you want to see in the rear view mirror.

Animal experts are teaching dogs how to drive.

Astonishingly, it took three mutts just eight weeks to master the basics in wooden carts.

Porter, a 10 month old beardie cross, is one of three dogs being trained to drive a specially converted Mini in a stunt for the New Zealand Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Monty, an 18 month old Giant Schnauzer cross in one of the specially built training cars built to get the dogs used to the controls of the specially modified mini. Ginnie, a one year old Beardie Whippet Cross is the third driver in the group.

The three dogs will drive a modified Mini in which they sit on their haunches in the driver’s seat with their paws on the steering wheel. Their feet go on extension levers which had been attached to the accelerator and the brake whilst their paw will rest on the gearstick.

They then graduated to a modified Mini in which they sat on their haunches in the driver’s seat with their paws on the steering wheel. Their feet go on extension levers which are attached to the accelerator and the brake while their paw rests on the gearstick. Read more from this story HERE.

NASA Responds To “Dec 21st End Of World” Scare

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Dec. 21, 2012, won’t be the end of the world as some have claimed. However, NASA says that “it will be another winter solstice”. The organization made the post on its website as a response to a popular Mayan conspiracy theory which states that cataclysmic or transformative events will occur on December 21st 2012.

In the “Beyond 2012: Why the World Won’t End’ section, the space agency answers frequently asked questions and removes all doubt from the minds of readers using science and logic.

Questions like ‘Does the Mayan calendar end on December 2012?’, Could planets align in a way that impacts Earth?’ and Is the Earth in danger of being hit by a meteor in 2012?’, have been answered on the website.

NASA simply states that the Mayan calendar does not cease to exist on December 21, 2012 and that December 22nd is the start of another long-count period.

Read more from this story HERE.

Principal Forces Boys to Hold Hands as Punishment for Fighting

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The idea of public humiliation as an appropriate punishment is certainly a controversial topic.

A couple of Westwood High School Warriors were humbled after a fight, and pictures of the high school boys holding hands as punishment and covering their heads are all over Facebook.

One of those young men is 14-year-old Charles Crockett, who admitted to ditching classes at the Mesa school Thursday because he said everyone was still teasing him about it. He said the ordeal started in P.E. class Wednesday.

“I told him to hit me and he hit me and we all started fighting,” Charles said. The freshman said he and a sophomore named Julio were sent to Principal Tim Richard’s office, where he gave the boys a clear choice. “The principal told us options and so we picked holding hands instead of getting suspended,” Crockett said.

The two locked palms for about an hour in the middle of campus during lunch while the entire student body witnessed their humiliation.

Read more from this story HERE.

Father Uses “Personal Drone” To Follow His Son to School

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A genius dad invented something to make dad life easier: a flying, camera-equipped quadrocopter that could follow his kids to the school bus stop. That’s right, a personal drone for his kids. Genius, I say. Genius!

Paul Wallich, the guy who cooked up the flying drone, used to walk his grade school son 400 meters down a hill to the bus stop. But he was always curious to make a drone with a camera follow his son so he could watch the trip from his computer. So he did it. And it’s a lot easier than you think.

Wallich simply bought a quadrocopter kit and attached a smartphone with a video chatting app enabled. The tricky part was to have the drone follow his kid.

Read more from this story HERE.