Independence Day Sounds So Much Better Than ‘Fourth Of July’

As of Friday this week the United States is 249 years young. Do it the honor of marking our country’s birthday as “Independence Day,” rather than the far more common and clunky “Fourth of July.”

I’m not sure when I started caring to explicitly and exclusively refer to the holiday by it’s official name, but it’s something I’ve grown militant about. Not in a sanctimonious way, like a person who wants to flex his superior patriotism or knowledge on proper titles. But there are two reasons for it.

First, I’m a writer (a real one, not the fake Charles Blow kind). I pay attention to the way phrases sound and flow, always self-editing to make expressions concise and breezy. That’s both in print and speech. “Independence Day” includes one long word, but it sounds nice and is easy to say. “Fourth of July” by contrast is three short ones that when said aloud together are the audible equivalent of watching John Fetterman lurching forward in strap-on heels. It’s a plodding phrase with each syllable landing on the eardrum with a dull thud. I hate it. Further, Independence Day connotes a date of significance, with its own distinguished name. “Fourth of July” is simply the number of a day belonging to a summer month. It’s a phrase that also exhibits a lot of lip action, first biting the lower one to say “fourth” and then pursing them both for “July.” Ugly! The month itself isn’t even a pleasant one to say and I’m shocked it hasn’t yet been deemed as anti-Semitic by Jonah Goldberg. (Read more from “Independence Day Sounds So Much Better Than ‘Fourth Of July’” HERE)

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