Things I Am Thankful for That Will Annoy Liberals
. . .I am thankful that Donald Trump is president, most of all because that means Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit is not president. I could stop here and end this column, but my editors insist on a higher word count. . .
I am thankful for a couple of senators who used to drive me up the wall. In the last couple years, Mitch McConnell completed his unlikely transformation from Yerlte the RINO Turtle into the Judicial Avenger who vanquished Merrick Garland and confirmed Kegger Kavanaugh. He’s skillfully tormented the Democrats and is in the midst of packing our court with a bunch of actual judges as opposed to a crowd of pinko robed activists. This is everything we dreamed of for decades and it’s happening. . .
I am thankful the Paul Ryan is gone, having hopped the train to Failuretown, Population: Paul Ryan. Not that we would notice that he vanished. The only time we ever heard from the ex-Speaker was when he was clutching pearls over something Trump said. I wish he was useless, because that would’ve been a huge improvement. The loss of the House was largely his fault. I eagerly await his upcoming book, 50 Shades of Meh. . .
I am thankful that the Democrats have apparently learned nothing from 2006, where they pulled the same scam they pulled this year and elected a bunch of so-called moderates from moderate districts. Sure, they also elected a bunch of goofs who look like the commie weirdos who hung out at the Che Cafe back in the day at UC San Diego, but the ones who took seats from the GOP were all GOP Lite. . .
I am thankful for Donald Trump. Yeah, I know I already said that, but I’m really, really glad he won. Can you imagine the living hell we be enduring if that hideous harpy was president? If she had won, Bill Kristol would be happy and his cabins would all be booked, but I always expected conservatism to do more than just be a get-rich scheme for political parasites. (Read more from “Things I Am Thankful for That Will Annoy Liberals” HERE)
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